Lucille’s Gifts

Toddlers do the most amazing things. It’s so easy to overlook how amazing little kids are in the hustle and bustle of every day life. My little Lucille, nearly 21 months, is down right maddening sometimes. But she is SO amazing.

I was having a really rough day yesterday and arrived to pick her up from daycare with her shouting “HI MOMMY!!!!”, excited to have me watch her go down the slide. (And, what I actually watched was another little girl kick her down the slide sending my happy, excited child into tears. Sigh. Toddlers.)

We drove home in silence, which is not normal for us. Usually there is laughing, singing, tears, complaining about the awful carseat, etc. I was deep in thought, reflecting on my day, and I thought perhaps she had fallen asleep. We arrived home and I went to the back seat to find her awake. Maybe she had been deep in thought as well. I hopped in to release her from her dreaded carseat and she smiled and immediately began pointing out my facial and clothing features. “Mommy’s eyes. Mommy’s hair. Mommy’s pretty necklace. Mommy’s ears. Mommy’s pretty earrings. Mommy’s shirt.” And then her own features, “Lucy’s eyes. Lucy’s nose. Lucy’s piggies. Lucy’s hair.”IMG_6682I don’t know why, but it brought tears to my eyes. This experience is nothing new; we go though it daily – on me, on her, on daddy, on Barley, on stuffed animals. But yesterday, I needed it. I truly NEEDED it. I needed her little hands on my face. I needed to look directly into her bright eyes. I needed to see her smile (albeit, underneath her filthy, snotty face. Ha!). I needed to hear her voice.

Lucy gives me gifts almost daily. She gives me happiness, worry, frustration, giggles, hugs, kisses, tears, tantrums, laughter. She gave me a big, huge blown-out bellybutton during pregnancy that I don’t think will every return to normal. She gives me the opportunity to make mistakes and learn, forcing me to grow into a better person. Yesterday, she simply gave me a small reminder that it will all be ok. I’m going to be ok.  I need to slow down and appreciate these moments more often.

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So It Begins.

I’ve always loved the idea of having a blog. But what could I possibly write about that anyone would care to read? What could I say that hasn’t already been said? Perhaps I will write and no one will read it or I’ll realize it’s been said before or that my words don’t matter. And today I’ve decided that that is OK. I’m writing for myself and if I happen to strike a chord with one other person, then that’s pretty cool.

It seems that when we are faced with adversity, we start writing. We start connecting. We want to reach out to others who have been in our situations in hopes of a silver lining. So here I am….writing a blog. How original 🙂